A BIG move here!

We did it.  We moved.

There are really no words for how much we LOVE our new place.

So I’ll just give you some pictures!

Kitchen & eat in nook

POOL!

Garden bounty!  I’ve canned 7 gallons of tomatoes & there is much more to come!

More POOL time!

Kids bath!

Back of the house in the pasture with the dogs

This was the beginning of filling this room with boxes.  Its full & well I’m working my way through unpacking

Movie night on Labor Day in the new place!

I will share more as we unpack & do some of the fun things we have planned for the new place.  In the mean time PRAY that our previous home is LOVED by a new family soon!

Messes I keep running into

Things are back to normal around here. 

Not in a good way either.

Everywhere I turned today there was a mess.

 

I am frustrated at the lack of helpers.  I am frustrated at my lack of consistent consequences for their slacking.  Besides I have been slacking so how can I hold them accountable?

Grrrr!  I am trying not to react and be upset. 

It is hard. 

It  is difficult not to take it personally.  Everyone did such a great job when I was down and out & unable to _____(do dishes, laundry, clean etc).  But now that I can  . . . well we just aren’t there yet.

It isn’t everywhere.  Mainly just in the bedrooms.  So we are going to work there on Saturday. 

Some of it is day to day stuff.  8 year olds should be able to remember to make their beds each day right?  Somehow that isn’t happening.

Everything in me looks outside and yearns to just chuck chores, school & house cleaning and go out and enjoy it.

We will, it will just be the reward for working inside.

Piles of stuff, season change clothes & papers—be gone!

Sigh

It is hard to be the grown up around here.

Keeping up with Mount Washmore.

Oh how to manage LAUNDRY?  My least favorite task is this never ending chore.  I’d rather mow the grass or shovel snow.  At least that stays done for a while.  Every time I turn around I find a dirty sock or  a shirt that is shed when some one is hot. 

Kids = Laundry

I don’t like having a bad attitude about this chore but how to make it more joyful?  How to turn a chore in to a blessing?  I do love having clean laundry when I need it but how to not feel like it is a heavy burden?  I needed a plan.

A very wise friend shared with me over a year ago how she keeps ahead of the accumulating loads.  She has 8 kids, so she should know right?

Each child gets a day to do their laundry & at their house one other load—whites.  She only buys white towels by the way. 

We’ve arranged it a bit differently but it works for our family.

Monday—Mom & Dad

Tuesday—Megan

Wednesday—Joshua—yep my 8 year old does his own laundry

Thursday—Elizabeth

Friday—Mom & Dad

Weekends? Michael brings his home some or we don’t do any.

The kids share the whites/towels/sheets on Wed & Friday.  It is part of the chores that they do. 

I love knowing when they leave the house they will be able to handle their laundry.  When I couldn’t do the stairs they girls did my laundry as well & handled it wonderfully!

It is awesome to not have the entire responsibility of the family laundry on me.  I don’t refer to the basement as the dungeon quite so often now!

So that is how we roll with the laundry here.

How do you do get it all done?

Peace is better than Perfectionism

My house isn’t perfect.  I achieve that about once a  year and it lasts about 3.2 minutes.

Know what?  I am okay with that.

 

Being home with your children means that your home is well used.  We get more money out of our square footage than most people do daily.  Because we really LIVE here and it sure does look like it most days.  I didn’t used to have this relaxed attitude.  

Steve would tell you that I used to be pretty picky about how the house “had” to be if it was to be considered clean.  20 years of marriage and 4 children will change you.  I’ve learned to not sweat the small stuff and enjoy a “mostly” clean house. 

Peace is so much more valuable than perfection. 

Peace sooths, Perfectionism stresses. 

Peace relaxes, Perfectionism screams. 

Peace is contentment, Perfectionism is never happy.

Now I just have my MAIN 3 things to  keep “Momma happy.” 

photo credit

1.  Floor—swept—we have mostly tile & hardwood

2.  Counters—cleared & wiped down—kitchen & bathrooms

3.  Things in their places

We divide up the chores and share because there isn’t a cleaning lady coming to do the work.  It helps to makes no one feel like a slave when we all work. 

photo credit

I used to do everything with that “poor me” attitude & I found it will kill the pleasure in a job accomplished every time.  Now I won’t tell you that this change happened overnight.  It has taken years of accepting & realizing that my highest calling is working in my home. 

That said, the kids are learning the basics of keeping the house running because it is a life skill.  From the beginning we’ve had them helping with dishes, cleaning, picking up and putting away.  I think that is important or it is harder to teach when they are older.  When they are little they want to help but that desire just isn’t there when they begin to see it is work.

So start young, work in small steps towards where you want to be & keep the peace while tossing the perfectionism! 

   

Things I love: Relationships

I am not big of rules—for myself of course. 

For everyone else they are fine.

I could just do without them.

Most of my children(notice I didn’t say all) don’t really appreciate them either.   As a younger mom, I thought that all I had to do was lay out the rules & carry out the consequences for breaking the rules.  As young children they did learn that rules are important and we survived the terrible twos and beyond. 

But now I want to see actions that are taken without me nagging.  Initiative is a great word.  When I see someone DO something without being asked I praise it over and over and over again because it means so much more.

Doing things out of love for me, their father, and our whole family means a million times more than taking an action out of duty or adherence to the rules.  That is something I didn’t know.  I could have really ruined my relationship with each of my precious kids if I hadn’t changed my way of thinking.

Sometimes God gives you a glimpse of who your children are going to grow up to be.  My abilities are small right now due to surgery. 

But it has been GOOD for our whole family. 

Sometimes nothing brings you together like a crisis.  Which this is not, but you know what I mean.   I think sometimes we don’t ask enough out of our kids.  They can do more than we expect.  I have been so surprised with how easily the house has run.  I never thought my 8 year old could do his own laundry.  I never thought my daughters could do ALL our meals on their own.  It is such a happy surprise.

I am finding it easy to be joyful when

. . . a little boy runs to get my _______(shoes, water, phone etc)

. . . daughters bravely go in to the grocery store—WITHOUT ME.

. . . meals are on the table with out smoke, tears or takeout.

. . . chores are done without reminding(much anyway).  I sure cannot see what the laundry looks like in the basement.

So I am focusing on the time I get to spend with them.  I am looking for ways to enjoy them and create that relationship with them.  It simplifies my life.  I don’t have to worry so much about who is obeying.  They seek the relationship with me and all in our family.  Everyone finds the joy in loving.

I really appreciated a post at Heart to Heart with Diane today.  It made me think & I am starting my own list of ways to “bind your children’s heart to you in love” as she says.  Her post is directed at homeschooling but I really think any parent can use these ideas with their child.

Here is my challenge to you--what things will you do today to build your relationship with your child?  I think I will go play a game . . . or two.  Sounds pretty simple to me.

     

Doing less is good

Things have been tough around here for several weeks.  It is a long story and really boils down to the fact that my hip hurts & haven't been able to do as much around the house.  The five o'clock hour is when I am the tiredest and I hurt the most so making supper has been a challenge to say the least.

Sometimes(okay a lot of times) Steve is very wise.  At the beginning of last year he said that I should have the kids help more with lunch.  I am not saying that I haven't taught them to cook.  I have.  They make a great lettuce salad.  Peeling carrots--no problem.  Michael makes a mean loaf of honey wheat bread & actually enjoys rolling enchiladas.  However I hadn't turned the kitchen over to them for an entire meal.  I wasn't having enough time to grade papers so Steve said--get out of the kitchen at lunch time & use that time. 

That is SO paying off now.  When I am just done for the day by 5 p.m. I have been able to ask the kids to do supper.  I am so proud of the job that they are doing.  It is Elizabeth who has been shouldering most of the burden.  She has a willing spirit and just turns up the music and COOKS!  To be fair, Megan and Joshua are doing a great job of washing dishes afterwards(we don't have a dishwasher) and cleaning up.

I feel guilty for not "pulling" my weight right now but it is allowing my kids(girls especially) to help and contribute where they are needed.  Tonight is date night for our friends so we have their kids here.  While we were at the grocery store this morning I asked the girls what they would like to make.  After a short discussion they decided the other family liked Chicken Tetrazini and that wasn't too hard to make.  This is my 13 year old girl cooking for 10 people.  WOW!  That is so awesome and just makes me proud of her.

I need to step out of the way in areas where my children are capable but I haven't allowed them freedom to work and serve.

Pea Green Soup. . . .I think

Do you have a list of thing in your head that you just know need to be done but it seems like you NEVER have time to work on it? Well painting J's room has been on my list all summer. We probably longer than that but I definitely wanted to do it this summer.

Well it looks like this is our last sort of free week before school is in full session. We started doing some things this week to get ready and ease in to a schedule before it was necessary. Steve had this weekend off and he was taking the girls on a father/daughter canoe trip, so it was just me and the boys.

So we planned to use today to paint J's room. It was amazing. I ran to Lowe's early & got the paint. No one was out--quick trip. While I was gone the boys emptied the room & took down all the posters, papers, stickers & such that were on the walls. So we started around 10 and at 10:02 I thought "Oh my this is gross."

J has a camo comforter and wanted to have green walls. Not Christmas green, not bright green, not even forest green(to dark), but muddy yucky green. Well it did match the comforter but when we put it on top of the yellowy faded off white that was there already--things weren't looking too good.

M's said well let's keep going. I said maybe it will dry and look different. So we kept on and finished around 1. Thank you God for my oldest son who can roll paint on faster than I can trim. He saved me so much energy and amazingly once the old color was covered it looked a world different. It matched the comforter and with the color of wood trip we have--it looked AWESOME. Not anything like pea green soup.