Caterpillar years

“Remember, just like a butterfly, she too will spread her wings and fly some day. Enjoy her caterpillar years.”

This quote was on this great list of 50 Rules for Dads the other day(#43).  When I read it well. . .it really struck me.  I just sat there for a few minutes thinking of the children I have in my home.  I am blessed to watch daily them unfold their wings. 

It is a thousand little things they do.  

Working hard and doing things without being reminded.

Setting goals and striving for them.

Praying and having the faith to expect results.

Becoming more independent in their school work.

Making meals without my help.

They aren’t flying alone yet, but they are emerging from their cocoons and becoming the men & women that God is shaping them in to becoming.

It is bittersweet. 

When they were little I dreamt of this day. 

But now I look around and see that I am to some extent working myself out of a job.

So as we work, play and live I am striving to enjoy these caterpillar years.  Where change is still occurring but I can see the beauty in the butterfly that is maturing.

 

Organizing Time with Teens

Last week I posted about spending time with teens.  The question was Can Teens be . . . .

Noisy—certainly

Encouraging—what?

Have love for all ages—are you kidding?

I wanted to address this because I had a friend on Facebook who was horrified amazed that Steve & I would willingly spend time with a group of 25 teens for a couple of hours! What do you think of when you imagine spending a couple of hours with teenagers?

Steve & I have been privileged & blessed to help guide an ever changing group of pre teens & teens in an activity called Bible Quizzing.  I have said this many times but I will repeat.  These kids are the best kids in the world.  There are few thins I am more thankful for and I wouldn’t trade my time with them for anything. 

However they are teens & it is a huge help to approach this activity & any activity with teens with a plan.  If you let them they will get off track & follow whatever bunny trails they can find!

HOW to organize time with teens

1.  Purpose/goal—This applies to adult activities too!  If there is not a focus then the time will be fun but not necessarily productive. 

Since chaos is not our idea of fun, we’ve discovered that it is absolutely necessary helpful to have a purpose.  Here are some questions to ask.

What are we trying to do?

How long will this keep their attention?

What can we do to break up the time?

2.  Time break down—2 parts are essential

Fellowship—build this in to your time because if you don’t then the teens will do it any way & you will be frustrated. 

It seems best to give them some time at the beginning of the meeting to greet friends & chat for a bit.  That way they can reconnect before we get to work.  Often we will be setting up & greeting people also during this time!  Let it be fun but be ready to guide them to the next part.

Goals & Projects—there needs to be a purpose for your meeting.  Know what you want to do & how long it will take.  Explaining the plan to the teens is a great idea because it lets them know what is expected.  Rewards are good too.  Time to be social again at the end if they work hard is always a good reward.

NECESSARY elements in time with teens

1. Leadership—This is SO important. It is work to organize time for teens to be together. Often by utilizing several families skills and talents the work of running an organization can be delegated. By working together the leadership can set long term & short term goals. Rules can be established & it creates a place of safety for kids to be involved.

2.  Parental involvement & support—One of the reasons that Bible Quizzing is successful is that parents are directly involved.  There are more parents that help than ones who drop off their kids.  Everyone knows the purpose & goal.  There is a lot of work that goes on at home prior to our meeting times so the parents often want to see the end results at the meetings.

3.  Routine—We meet on certain days of the month.  It is consistent and there is little change.  Also each meeting has a routine.  Fellowship time(5-10 minutes), Quiz 1, 2(1 hour), Team meetings or devotion(20 minutes), Quiz 3(15-20 minutes), Clean up time(10 minutes.

4.  Communication—Reminders, updates, calendar changes are all vital for keeping everyone on track.  An initial calendar and information sheet that is available on paper & then can be emailed. 

After that most communication is done via email.  It works to have each person reply & if a family doesn’t reply then a quick phone call can be done to verify they have the necessary in formation.

These ideas are geared toward any teen activity.  However if you are interested here are 10 Reasons Bible Quizzing is WORTH it!  Hope this helps you as you navigate the teen years & I encourage you to get involved in your teens lives and the activities they are enjoying.

My prayer for my children—Fear not. Stand firm and see the deliverance of the LORD.  Exodus 14:13

Can teens be . . .

loving?

encouraging?

a joy to be around?

A resounding YES!

My oldest is about to leave his teens—only 2 more months.  #2 is in the middle teen years, #3 will become a teen in December & #4 isn’t quite there yet. 

I posted on Facebook on Wednesday that I spent the evening with 25 AWESOME teens.  We had a lot of fun and there were NO discipline issues.  Usually there are closer to 40 but this is summer and many are unable to attend.  NO this is not a church sponsored YOUTH group.

Sound amazing?  I think it is and that is why we are a part of this group.

Some would tell me that we are crazy to spend time(lots of it) with the teens that are involved in our kids lives.

They are LOUD.

 

Sometimes they hold opinions that are VERY different than mine.

There are moments when they make BAD decisions.

But I see those situations not as times to avoid but times to get involved.  My kids have made choices on who their friends will be.  For the most part those kids are great but they are KIDS! 

Moldable, teachable and they are loved by God--just as much as me or you.  So anytime that there is a child placed in my path, I see that as an opportunity to invest in their life.

By investing I mean that I try to do 3 things.

1.  Love them in a way that they know it.  A hug, a smile, a word of encouragement and sometimes a word of discipline.

2.  Challenge them.  See where they are at & what things they need to grow in?  Suggest, prod, push and get in their face(at times) are the tactics I use.

3.  Spur them on.  No one is a lost cause.  Everyone deserves a second, third or millionth chance.  Sometimes encouraging someone is hard but it is always worth it.

Steve & I have never given our kids a choice on whether we are involved in the activities they attend.  They just know if they are a part of something that we will be around.  It isn’t a topic for discussion.  I think for the most part it makes them feel safe, loved & encouraged.

What ways are you involved with your kids friends? 

How do you interact with them? 

Screen Time Limits

There is a standing rule in the Brush household that you only get so much screen time per day. 

On odd days the kids get 1 hour of computer time AFTER certain chores are done. 

TV?  We don’t watch it. 

Movies—some times after school is done or in the evening with Daddy.  We just think that there are SO MANY other good things to do besides sit like a lump on a log in front of a TV or computer.

However there are times for breaking the rules. 

My little man has been running a fever for 3 days now.  He’s not eating.  This is my guy who is a bottomless pit.  He watches the clock like a hawk so he doesn’t miss a snack time.  On one hand I am not terribly concerned,  it is a virus that will run its course.  On the other hand, he’s bored to death & feels pretty rotten.

So yes I have been extending the screen time limit.  He’s watched more movies in the past 3 days than normal.  But hey I will do a lot of things to keep a sick child happy.  In defense of my mommy/nurse skills, we have been playing lots of Yahtzee.  He just learned how & loves it.

Now I am seriously hoping that tomorrow he’s better and we can get back to normal, but I am thankful that there is something that makes these yucky hours pass quickly.  We would rather be swimming, riding bikes, making gluep or a dozen other things than staying home sitting around.  But this is how we roll when one is sick here.

Reading, too much of a good thing?

Do you have voracious readers in your house?  I do.

Some days it makes me crazy.  Like yesterday.  It was beautiful outside.   I walked through the house & saw children INSIDE reading.  I was appalled!

I just won’t put up with that.  I sent them outside to play. 

Seriously reading can be come an obsession just like any other activity.  Like playing on the computer—stepping back from that land mine.

Cartoon books—oh my.  I find them everywhere!  We have an old collection of Garfield, Calvin & Hobbes, Beetle Bailey etc.  I have to say—only on Sundays because if I don’t I find them curled up with a comic book avoiding their math.  Sigh.  This is a serious problem can’t you tell?

I should know since I LOVE to read.  As a teen I used to stay up until 2, 3, 4 . . in the morning finishing a book.  My mom did (?still does?) the same thing.

Very rarely can I do that now.  I have some how realized that sleep is more important than good book.  HA!

I don’t have much time to sit down and read.  Too many other projects, duties & responsibilities.  Sort of sad in a way.

A friend of mine was asking about good books for her son and I started making a list.  Mainly because her son is a bit older my Joshua, who is working his way through the Redwall series right now. 

I need to be ready for when he finishes though.  I read most of the books the kids do(or I used to) but this is one series I never read.  It is about mice with strange accents—I know from all the quoting of the books that happens around here.

Luckily for me his older sister(affectionately called the librarian) has read a TON of books.  Oh and his older brother used to have time to read(before college and math took over his life) so we have walked this road before.

I want this spring/summer to be a time for deliberate reading.  Not just pleasure reading(their choice) but assigned reading(my choice) that isn’t based upon our current history study.  So I need to make some book lists.  As I work these out I will be posting them here for everyone to use!

However, since we already have a problem with “over” reading in the house, we are going to have to balance time in ACTIVITIES and time with our nose in a book.  Such a sad problem to have.

Actually it is a good problem to have and I am glad to have it. 

 

Praying for my children

Do you purposefully pray for your children? 

I mean beyond “Please God keep them safe"?

I have done different praying at different times in their(my) lives. 

1.  Infant—Please HELP me God, I don’t know what I am doing.

2.  Infant—Please God just a few minutes of sleep?

3.  2 years—Please HELP me God, I may loose my mind.

4.  3 years—Please God will he/she ever go in the potty?

5.  Middle Years—Please HELP me God, you meant them to be my kids right?  They are so strange.

 

6.  Middle Years—Please God will they survive to be adults?

7.  Teen Years—Oh Lord, you and me right?  HELP!

 

8.  Teen Years—Lord help them to be pure and wait for the mate you have for them.  Help them desire your best.

9.  Teen Years—Please God help them to hear their tone of voice.

10.  College Years—Please Lord, bring him home once in a while.

Today I don’t have bottles & diapers to deal with any more, but the remaining years seem to be flying by as my little people are rapidly becoming BIG people.

This morning I was blessed to have this verse jump off the page.

Asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. 

And we pray this in order that you may life a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in everyway; bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God.       Colossians 1:9-10

Even if it wasn’t highlighted already I would have recognized this verse.  I have prayed this over and over for my children. 

For so many of those younger years I kept looking for the fruit of my labors.  I did see some good fruit.  They would share toys, play nicely & speak kindly—most of the time.  But it seemed I saw my fair share of rotten fruit too.  Hitting, selfishness, laziness—they are/were human after all.

Now I am learning to let them go.  A year ago I was a total mess.  All I knew was that my oldest, who was a senior, was LEAVING. 

My heart was breaking and I cried A LOT.  I couldn’t stand it.

I knew he was ready for this step and that he would continue to grow and become an amazing young man.  BUT it is hard to let go and see things change.

I prayed that verse many times because I knew that God would take care of him when I wasn’t there.  I didn’t want him to stay the same but finding a way to let go was just beyond me.

So I continue to pray although he isn’t under my roof everyday.  I don’t know where he is most of the time.  I pray for him to have good fruit in his life. 

But I know my job—to pray and lift all my children up so that God can fill them with the knowledge of his will.

What do you pray over and over for your children?

Picking Your Battles

I’ve been battling with the youngest male in my house.  For some reason he thinks that the floor around the laundry basket is a better place than IN the laundry basket. 

On the other hand he is getting his bed made, most days.  All his clean laundry is in the dresser & not on the floor.  All steps in the right direction.

We are still working on it.  I have pointed out how it would be easier to find his shoes if he would pick up his room.  He is doing a great job with all his other chores but the floor of his room is just a huge challenge. 

Now that I am mobile again I think we are going to spend 5 minutes in his room together each morning.  He is my social child.  He hugs me a kazillion times a day.  So if I make it a reward(time together) for him I think that will do the trick.  Then consequences if he cannot keep it picked up from there on out.  I am not going to clean it for him—that is a big temptation for me.  I will “help” but most of it will be me asking him “Where does that go? or Does that have a place?” 

Using a timer for just 5 minutes will keep us from getting sucked in to an all day cleaning session but we will make progress. 

How are you kids rooms?  Where is that tough spot for them to keep clean?  Maybe you should spend some time together working & making some progress!

   

Kids Fundraising & White Wheat Rolls

As our kids have gotten older, it seems like their activities start to drain us dry.  Especially since we now have several who are of age to be going and doing.  Right now there are two but next year it will be three!

Don’t get me wrong I like that they have social interaction, opportunities to serve, & ways to grow their faith.  But it can be a juggling act to finance it all.

My son used to earn his cash for Nationals by mowing the lawn.  We paid the fee & then he mowed all summer.  It worked well and everyone was happy. 

Now we have two girls coming along and there isn’t enough lawn or cash to go around so they’ve had to look outside the home for ways to earn money.   They haven’t gotten in to babysitting but that may be an option later on.

This year my oldest daughter sold homemade vanilla to neighbors & friends around Christmas time.  It is a great gift & super easy to make but you have to think ahead.  Like 6 months ahead because that is how long it takes to make it.  If you are interested in in how we did it head over to Heavenly Homemakers to learn how to do it(Love Love Love her site by the way).  She had 3/4 of her fees to go to Bible Quizzing Nationals by January!

We weren’t sure if #2 daughter would make the cut for Nationals so we didn’t start fundraising for her until just a few weeks ago.  She has been baking some yummy treats to sell.  It has gone well so far.  She is making Happy Honey Wheat Bread, Cinnamon Rolls & White Wheat Dinner Rolls. 

 

I will share one of the recipes below.  It is a lot of work but she’s doing a great job with helping.  We worked all afternoon Saturday.  When done there were 5 pie plates of cinnamon rolls, 4 9x13 pans of cinnamon rolls, 3 loaves of bread, & 60 dinner rolls.  Whew!  This pictures is after we delivered some of the good!

I am so proud of my kids for working & not expecting a hand out.  I think it will teach them the value of a dollar to earn it themselves.

White Wheat Dinner Rolls—makes 15-20 rolls

1 1/4 cups milk

1 large egg

6 T melted butter

3 T honey

2 cups white wheat flour(I use Kroger brand)

2 cups unbleached flour

1 1/2 T. vital wheat gluten

2 t salt

1 pkg yeast(a little less than a full tablespoon)

Add all ingredients to bread machine in order.  Select dough cycle & when finished divide and shape buns.  Let rise until double.  Bake at 375 degrees for 15-20 minutes.

Other options:

You can also do this in a kitchen aid mixer & double the recipe.  Remove the dough from the mixer bowl when finished mixing & place in a larger bowl to rise for an hour and a half.

This recipe makes great hamburger buns also—just make larger buns & you will have around 12 hamburger buns.